Random Thoughts on Symmes

… inept, but trying real hard

Please, don’t feed the bears September 4, 2008

Filed under: Creativity,Events,Family,Fun!,Humor,Life,Photos,Random,Travel,Uncategorized — Layni @ 12:11 am
I’m not sure when she turned on us.  But Mom was a
real bear the first morning we went to the mountains.
I can’t do it now [it’s 12:45 a.m. y’all!], but I haven’t forgotten & totally still plan to post, “Vacation:  A Photo Blog”  [Isn’t that what I planned to call it?]  So tomorrow.  Yeah.  Tomorrow.
Until then, send up nice thoughts for me, because you guys … work is kickin’ my butt! 
But not as much as Gatlinburg kicked Harold’s.
So, I’m left to ponder whether this is normal, or whether my 
husband has taken the first difficult steps towards full-blown dementia.

And also, his shorts are not as short as they appear  :::shiver:::


I’m all over the place in this one August 25, 2008

Filed under: Children,Events,Family,Fun!,Photos,Random,Travel,Uncategorized — Layni @ 12:28 am

I’m sorry it’s been a while since my last post, but we’ve been busy beavers over here.  And that is because following vacation [which, incidentally, I plan to post about photo-essay style at a later time, and that time being when I find the time to upload my pictures to the computer]. 

And speaking of photos, I would be remiss not to share this awesome deal from Walgreens with you:

Remember this summer every year 4x6 Prints 50 for $5 GET COUPON CODE

Here’s hoping that comes across as a clickable link.  

Do you ever get startled by a glare in your glasses?  Ha!  Like, out of the corner of your eye you’ll see a flash of light that looks like something just shot past you & you’re all, “Whoa!  What the heck was that?”  No?  Maybe its just these stupid BIFOCALS.  Whatever.

I could look this up, because I’m researchy like that, but in an attempt to save time, do y’all have any suggestions for rawhides that don’t become soggy throat plugs when chewed?   Because my dogs lives are at stake here.


I think she’s talking about me. 

Is anyone else sad that summer’s almost over?  This is my summer of decent TAN [well, by pale white-girl standards anyway].  Why must you end?  And back to school.  Ugh!  Back to school means HOMEWORK and homework equals stress.  Because homework results in grades.  Grades that are important and for a 15 year old … also future-determining!  Ack.  Plus it also means that instead of leisurely morning routines [because said beautiful children are still sleeping during leisurely morning routine], that mornings will now entail assuring that 15 year old is up, dressed halfway presentable & out the door by 6:20 [I repeat, “Ack”] and that 8 year old is up, dressed, fed, has teeth brushed, that backpack contains all necessary papers, permission slips and chapstick and is on the bus BEFORE finalizing self to get out the door in a timely manner to arrive at job-with-added-responsibilities at an acceptable hour. 

[Shoot!  Look at the time.  It’s 1:25 a.m. I have to get to bed.]

I’ll be back soon with more on these topics AND Vacation:  A Photo Essay.  Until then, back to school, we spit on you.  And then, we sing John Mayer.


Busy, busy, dreadfully busy August 6, 2008

Here’s the scoop:

1. I am alive.
2. Thank you for asking.
3. Things were very busy.
4. Oh, wait.  They still are.

That’s … pretty much it.  Hello.

Me = Being consumed whole by new job and lots of other activities, but

Me = Still loves you.  Really.

You = Patient.  And also,

You = Good looking.  Did you get a haircut?  Is that a new shirt?  Because

You = One sexy beast.  I’m just saying.

Anyway. Y’ALL. This new job? The one I haven’t told you about yet.  The one where I am when I go to work in the morning?  It is really BUSY. They want a lot of this “work” business, and apparently it will calm down soon, once I learn what the heck I am doing, but right now I am hoping someone will just show up and KILL ME ALREADY because Hoo Boy.  Ow, with all the work and learning.  It hurts my head.

I’m only human, Boss People. I know I look capable; that is an illusion!  In reality, I don’t have the faintest idea of what I am doing!  Shh!

But … uh.  I couldn’t allow that last post to remain for one minute more, so here I am [Hi!] typing drivel.

Because I love you.  So it’s loving drivel.  Don’t hate me today.  I JUST CAN’T HANDLE IT.


Okay, see, there was this thing?  And then there was this other thing, and the net result of all of these things, and all of the SHEER PANIC and TERROR inspired by these things, and then, there was this:

I’m taking on a new role at work.

See how I said that?  Taking on a new role?  I’m wondering if that accurately conveys how I’m not just changing roles, but in ADDITION to the role I already have, I am “absorbing” a whole NEW role?  One that another human being used to do.  As their job.  Like, as their ONLY job.  But now I’ll be doing it, on top of the one I already have.  See that?  Two jobs at once.  And contrary to how I seem to be freaking-the-heck out about it.  I AM happy about this!  Wheeeeee!  [See?  Happy.]  I had even verbalized before how if I had to have another job, this would be the one I’d want to have.   But I will admit that I am suffering from a harsh case of lack of confidence in my own abilities, I have concerns people.  Everyone else is completely confident in me.  Thanks.  You’re sweet. 

I’ll let you know how that’s going.

And also, there has been the perpetual stream of evenings [occasionally even followed by some early mornings] parking cars at the ATP Tennis Tournament.  This is a requirement of the Mish kids & their parents [the acting group Ashton is in].  They make a lot of money from it.  It’s a good cause.  I keep telling myself that.  Anyway, the ATP tennis tournaments, wherein I have been berated, yelled at, shot the stink-eye, and I’m also pretty sure one lady told me to blow something out of somewhere.  Because she wasn’t handicapped and I was working the handicap lot and apparently I take my job very seriously. 

On another occasion I was working the golf lot [which means making sure that if someone pulls in there that they are, in fact, golfing & not walking over to the tennis tournament.  It’s the principle, people.]  So a man pulled in and I’m all, “Good morning sir, what are you here for?”  [NOTE:  Do NOT ask them if they’re golfing, because, y’all, PEOPLE LIE!]  So he’s all, “YES, is that ok with yooooooou?”  “Um, yes. [jerk] But, if you’re golfing, how come you don’t have on a collared shirt?”  A-HA!  SUCK IT! I’M A GOLF LOT GENIUS!  “I’m going to put it on after I shower.  Ohhhhhh,kkkkkkkkk?”  <blink>  “Ohhhhhh,kkkkkkkkk”, I responded.  And then, cinching up his face as if he’d just got a whiff of a dirty diaper filled with Indian food he went, “Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!”  <blink blink>  “Well, you have a good day sir.  And also, I hope for your sake that you walk in with clubs or you’re getting towed.  Have a nice day.”  <smile>

Did I mention that we’re leaving on Sunday for vacation?  Are.  Which will also entail getting our very bad dogs to the vet to be kenneled, except for Buster Brown, who is fortunate enough to be spending the week with my dear friend Holly & her girls.  He’s being evaluated for adoptability so he’s been given instructions to “turn on the charm”.  There will be a hefty price to pay for bad behavior.  He’s been warned [wink]. 

Working, learning, parking, shopping, delivering, planning and packing.  What in the heck am I doing on the computer!?

Once I have mastered ADDITIONAL ROLE ABSORBTION, completed infinity hours of parking cars & survive family travel, they should probably name a holiday after me, and I think we should all take it right now, no matter where we live and whether or not we like Andy Griffith, I think we should look past our little differences and just take a nap.

Anyway.  I love you.  And I will be back in a few days, with something interestinger.  Hugs!


Pet Sitting Guide [or how to deal with way too many dogs who refuse to be housebroken!] May 22, 2008

Filed under: Dogs,Events,Family,Friends,Fun!,Humor,Life,Random,Rants,Travel,Uncategorized — Layni @ 3:08 pm

[Forgive the wonky formatting.  I don’t know what’s going on there …]

Tomorrow, the fam and I are going camping with the Sexton’s & her brother’s family, for the weekend.  And you may already know this, but camping entails a LOT of preparation y’all!  So, while I don’t have the time to get in to it right now, I did find it funny that when I sat down to write out pet sitting instructions to leave my Mom for our three, small, very bad dogs, I realized something.  Not only are they bad, but they’re really high maintenance too! 

Pet Sitting Guide [or how to deal with way too many dogs who refuse to be housebroken!]


This is the actual instruction sheet that I’m leaving her with.  [Dog anyone?]


Going Potty:

Let dogs out OFTEN. 

Let dogs out prior to leaving & immediately upon returning.

Give them a treat when they come in [1 a piece; either a frozen green bean or biscuit.  Green beans sparingly unless you want to walk around little green land mines all weekend.]


If a #2 accident occurs, please pick up & flush or chuck into the yard.  Clean up of a  #1 accident is at your discretion.  We would appreciate if you would drop a paper towel over the accident, step on, and then discard it.  Understandably, if this is outside of your realm of comfort, just leave it.  If this were the case, tiny “Wet Floor” signs would be appreciated so we’ll know where to clean up. [Just kidding, of course … but we will need you to point them out].


Max gets a full cup of food.

Millie gets ¾ cup of food.

Buster Brown gets ½ cup of food.

At dinner time only, add a serving spoon full of the organic wet food to each of their bowls [sort of adjust the amount according to whose bowl you’re filling ie. large scoop for Max, slightly less for Millie, rounded spoonful for Buster Brown.  I usually cut it into the dry food with a fork & knife but if this is above & beyond the call of duty, just plop it on top.

The little dogs eat in their locked cages.  Max eats in the dining room. 

Let them all out about 15 minutes after they’re done.  Make sure they actually leave the porch to go potty.  This is roughly how long after they eat before they need to shit.


Feed roughly at the same times you’d feed yourself.  Breakfast, lunch & dinner. 


Max can sleep with you but the little dogs need to sleep in their cages.  You can leave the gate down at this time.


Keep gate to upstairs closed whenever the puppies are out.

Enjoy your weekend!

Thank you!

Y’all have a wonderful, safe Memorial Day weekend!  If I have the strength, I’ll tell you all about mine on Monday [possibly after shampooing the rugs.]



Headed down South February 28, 2008

Filed under: Events,Family,Food,Friends,Fun!,Photos,Quotes,Random,Travel,Uncategorized — Layni @ 1:58 pm

That’s right, y’all.  This weekend my Mom, sister-in-law & I are takin’ the money and do indeed plan to RUN.  All the way to Louisville, KY in fact  [or as the locals call it, ‘the Ville’.  Or is that just me?]

Anyway, for Mom’s mumblemumble-eth birthday, my SIL & I gave her a gift certificate for a weekend at a Bed & Breakfast of her choice in the town of her choice.   


[That’s Mom.  The one in the festive sweater.]

And one thing you should know about my Mom is that she’s accomodating [I mean, there’s other things worth knowing about her, but for the intent & purpose of this post — the fact that she’s accomodating is the one we’ll be discussing].  So, anyway.  While researching & trying to decide on a location, she totally took my SIL & my interests into account [thanks, Mom!]  Like, she knows we both love antiques, assumes we love shoes [on account of we’re females] and has, over the years, picked up on the subtle hints that we like wine.  Because we drink a lot of wine.  She’s very good.  For these reasons, she decided on Louisville — because apparently they have it all. 

We’re staying at the Inn at Woodhaven.



This actually is our room.  I call dibs on the jet tub.  Jodi called the cleverly disguised, keg-of-wine bolster on the settee.

Ok, so here’s the plan: 

We’re picking up my SIL tomorrow @ 3:30 so should get to ‘the Ville’ around 5:30.   

After checking in & getting settled, we’re heading downtown to experience F.A.T. Friday Hop [Frankfort Avenue Trolley].  The last Friday of each month, they offer free trolley service up & down historic Frankfort Ave.  The street is lined with fun specialty shops, antique stores, galleries & cafe’s and they all stay open late!  Parking is FREE [!] and so is the trolley.  Should be fun AND cheap and the weather is supposed to be in the 40’s!  Wheeeee!  Oh, & did I mention that the businesses pass out FREE snacks!?  Do!

Saturday, after breakfast at the B&B, we’ll head back out to visit a few of the historic homes that Mom has selected.  Wherein I promise not to touch anything

Saturday afternoon we’re going to the Louisville Antique Mall.  And you guys, it has 5-stories!  Of stuff!  Which I’ll likely need to have some of [which is why Harold took the back seat out of the van.]  Oh, yeah.  I’m ’bout to get my shop ON.


After that. 

As if the day could get ANY better.

We’re going to …

A freakin’ ZAPPOS SHOE OUTLET !!!!!!!    

::: Heavenly music plays :::

:::Clouds part:::

:::Sun shines:::

:::Angels weep:::

Wherein, I may need to have these:


and I mean, hello …  these are really cute!


[holy crap!  I was seriously just gone for 45 minutes at Zappos.com!  “I’m coming cute, plentiful shoes all $29.95 or less!!!!  I’m coming!!!”]  If you have a specific request, send me a picture & the size.  I can do that for you!

Finally, we’ll round out our anticipatedly fabulous weekend dining at the wonderfully tacky, world renowned, vegetarian/organic friendly, Oprah featured Lynn’s Paradise Cafe


Where a picture of Jodi & I as the fork & spoon WILL happen!  [see on the right of the pic?]  And also they have fried green tomatoes.  And martini’s.  I have to tell y’all I’m more than a little excited to get out of town this weekend.

I’m really looking forward to “Mom’s” get-away.  After the week I’ve had, I need it!  I also think it’s a good thing that they don’t have debtors prisons anymore.

“Again it might have been the American tendency in travel.  One goes, not so much to see, but to tell afterwards.”
– John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley in Search of America

I’ll definitely be sure to tell y’all all about it when I get back!  Send up travel mercies for us & have a great weekend!


Hey You People Who Read My Wife’s Blog January 12, 2008

Filed under: Children,Creativity,Events,Fun!,Photos,Travel,Uncategorized — Layni @ 6:22 pm



Here is a picture of Layni last week at the Nation’s Snowmen March in Washington D.C.   I thought that it was ridiculous that she went to it since she isn’t a snowman and her costume totally gives away the fact that she is a human, but her and Jesse Jackson are tight so he wanted her at his right hand.  That reminds me that I need to buy a boulder to put in our side lawn.  I’m going to build a snowman on it.  Some punk drove a car into our big snowman last year and knocked it down.  This year he will hit something a little harder than snow.  I reeeaaaally don’t like snowman vandalizers.  Layni loves snowmen too..obviously.  See the picture above?

  BY THE WAY, This is Layni’s  husband Harold.  Layni has been too busy to talk to do the blog-writing thing.    I think that blogging, facebook, myspace and all that internet community bologna is just that—bologna.   However, with that said, layni asked me to get on here and write a random post about whatever, as an icebreaker….so here I am.   

  We have been up to the same old thing here..except for getting a new Boston Terrier who we named Millie and maybe getting my sister Kathy’s Yorkshire Terrier puppy because my niece is apparently allergic to dog saliva.   Isn’t that great? Three dogs.  Great.  Nothing else has changed. Really.  We are all doing fine.  Layni’s been spending her time working and playing with the girls, who are both fine by the way.   If anybody cares, I have been working and trying to do things around the house..currently I am slowly putting in baseboards in the living room.  It’s a learning experience…in fact today I learned how to make coping joints.  Yeah that’s right, coping joints.  Settle down, it’s not as dramatic as it sounds but it is very impressive though.  Ty Pennington has nothing on me.  

  Layni wants me to write on here that she is the “internet’s bi^@ch”  I’m not sure why she wants that on here.

 I don’t want to write anymore, so stay tuned for Layni’s next Blog.  I am going to go and pour myself another cup of wine and go do woodwork.



Christmas. We’re bringing it. December 3, 2007

Hi y’all.  I hope everyone had a great 1st weekend of December … um, weekend.  Ours was very nice.  Thank you. 

Today is my Mom’s birthday [HaPpY BiRtHdAy MoM!], so to celebrate we went to dinner last night at Palomino’s downtown Cincinnati.  Coincidentally, it was during the same time that Santa thrilled the crowds gathered on Fountain Square by repelling down the side of the Macy’s building — you know, as told in all of the old Christmas stories.  Right?  Anyway, it was all very exciting.


Did not plummet to his death.  Christmas is still on!

After dinner we headed to Larry & Jodi’s so they could borrow the children to decorate their tree.  Just one more service I provide – child labor.  We had a surprisingly FANTASTIC cake from the BonBonerie, which I honestly didn’t think I would like, on account of it was some sort of spice cake – which I typically don’t care for, but this was a black raspberry spice cake with buttercream frosting & CARAMEL people!  Yum-o!

Anyway, all of this was followed by the annual taking of the family pictures.  And since it’s late & I need to get to bed [curse you Tin Man for being on twice tonight],  I leave you with overwhelming evidence that family fun can be had with a bunch of dorks & a tripod.


Mom, unaware there’s a cat toy on her shoulder.  Laughs anyway!   Classic.

23 days left until Christmas!  Enjoy the holidays everyone!