Random Thoughts on Symmes

… inept, but trying real hard

Thing I love … at least today July 24, 2008

Filed under: Photos,Quotes,Random,Uncategorized — Layni @ 3:43 pm

Vivanno, yum!

I pulled up to the window & asked, “Is the Vivanno …”  “Delicious”, she interrupted.  “Yes, yes it is.”  “Oh, well thats good, actually, I was going to ask if it had a boatload of calories?”  “OH, NO!”, she answered emphatically.  “Just the opposite, it has 16 grams of protein, 5 grams of fiber and less than 270 calories!”  That’s very informative, woman who clearly enjoys ALOT of the products that she sells, [namely the expresso!]  “Ok, yes please.”


I ordered the Banana Chocolate Vivanno.

Here’s the scoop:

  • One whole – real! – banana [didn’t think to ask if it was organic or not]
  • Whey protein [16 grams] and fiber powder [5 grams]
  • Choice of milk [default is 2%]
  • Real bittersweet cocoa
  • Ice
  • Portion controlled [default is Grande, and always has less than 270 calories]

My verdict.  Yum!  It’s thinner than a shake or a smoothie but it tastes GOOD.  Not gritty at all [which I was worried about since they add powder] and it has a mild flavor of both the chocolate AND the banana … not overwhelmingly chocolate-y, which I was also kind of afraid of since it said, ‘bittersweet’. 

Some might argue that it tastes sortof like a Slimfast shake.  But I’ve always like those too. 

Try one & let me know what y’all think.


The funniest thing about some people July 22, 2008

Filed under: Friends,Fun!,Photos,Quotes,Random — Layni @ 11:25 pm

… is that they have no sense of humor.


Class of ’88. The remix. July 16, 2008

Filed under: Events,Family,Friends,Fun!,Quotes,Random,Uncategorized — Layni @ 3:54 pm

(I was actually going to name this entry “HHS 2; Electric Boogaloo,” but know what?  That title was way funnier when I thought of it yesterday.  Which was Tuesday.  But now it is 4:55 on Wednesday, and it’s not nearly as funny anymore.  And, I guess it’s possible that it wasn’t even funny to begin with except for to me, but … wait, is that Monk on HULU right now? GOTTA GO.)  OH DEAR LORD, WRITE THE STORY ALREADY, WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?  And this concludes my paragraph analyzing a five-word title, guess who hasn’t slept much the past few days, THANK YOU.)

But, anyway.  Oh, hello!  HI THERE! 

So ANYWAY, Saturday was my 20 year high school class reunion [BIG UPS! Hamilton High Class of ’88!]  And it was … you know.  Interesting.

We went with my dear friend Kathryn, whose very own husband is right now in Kuwait serving our country [shout out to SCOTT!]  The reunion was at a sort of out-of-the-way [READ:  Boonies] VFW hall so Harold decided to utilize the handy-dandy GPS function on his phone.  Which would prove very useful as none of us knew where the heck we were going. The phone would tell us in it’s sexy voice, “Prepare to turn left in .5 miles.”  and “continue on this here country road for .4 miles.”  I asked if it would tell me if I’d made a wrong turn & he assured me it would.   And it did.  It guided us there accurately all along the way … yeah, all the way PAST the place.  We drove right by it & it said NOTHING.  Likely because it saw the place & was all, “On second thought, y’all should just keep driving.  You should definitely not go to that seedy place.”  But it didn’t give us that warning, so we turned around & went back. 

ANYWAY, after trying 3 or 4 doors that wouldn’t let us in [how the heck did everyone else get in there!] we asked some helpful smokers.  OF COURSE.  The door with the handwritten ‘HHS’ sign on it.  At the back of the building.  Right. 

Inside, we stopped at the registration table to, um, register.  This is also when Harold spontaneously combusted.  Seriously.  He burst into flames because it was like 90 degrees in there.  He doesn’t tolerate heat well.  Ha.  And ALSO this is the exact time that a set of unidentified lips came directly at my face, landing precariously close to my mouth!  [Hi, Tweeter]  Fortunately subsequent meetings & greetings with friends were not so accost-y.

The good news is that I saw many fabulous friends that I haven’t seen in years and I was very happy to see them & catch up & hear how they were doing and about their families and reminiscing.  That was so awesome.   The bad news was: THEY DON’T SERVE WINE AT VFW HALLS.  Did y’all know this?  And also, martinis.  No martinis.  And we needed them, y’all, because YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. 

I truly thought that 20 years might maybe lend way to a little maturity.  Perhaps some decorum.  Some civility.  And indeed, for some, it had.  But now, have y’all heard about this?  Because I will be happy to tell you ALL about it, namely, that it involves thong underwear, AND AN OPENED CONDOM, and also, right on the floor of the facility, and incidentally, there was a BOOB FLASHING, right in front of everyone, in front of my HUSBAND, and homemade pre-packaged Jell-o shots AND beer drinking to the tune of they ran-the-heck out[!] and people, those may be a signs of the apocalypse, right there. 

So, anyway.  We’re standing there, my HUSBAND, and MYSELF, gazing at the floor staring at a pair of thong underwear & a condom and thinking, “How did this happen, exactly?” and also, “Oh my heavenly GOD,” because WHAT?  Holy WHY?  Surely someone had to realize that suddenly … they’re commando!  I never, ever want to be in the same room — nay, not even the same ZIP CODE — with a situation that leads me to ask these kind of questions.  This is not RIGHT people!  20. YEARS.  Because somebody was all, “You know what would be funny?  Planting a pair of panties & a condom.  HA!  I’m a comedic GENIUS!” 

You know, I could go on and on about the shenanigans that went on, but in all actuality, we had a really good time [and by “we” I probably mean “me” because let’s be honest, when you don’t know anyone — I’d say my chances of having fun were slighly higher than Harolds]  Although, he really seemed to be enjoying himself when he was standing outside holding not just my BUT ALSO Kathryn’s purse and also snapping pictures of a group of clowns – [some of whom had depleted the beer!] – try to organize for a group photo before the heavens opened up, threatening to drown us all.  That was probably fairly amusing to watch, so I’m thinking he enjoyed that part more than I did because I was standing in my cute new shoes which, it turns out, are more cute than comfy. 

It was also pretty cool that quite a few folks told me that they read my blog.  Awwww.  Bless your little hearts!  And then they said, ” … so if you could update more than once a month.”  Ugh.  I GET IT.  I’ll work on that.  I promise.  But with things going on like, “Parent dessert night” [I’m not even kidding  you guys.  I’m going to that tonight!], time is scarce. 

So, the class reunion was fun.  I can now use the words:




Jell-o shots


Tweeter’s titties

in the same sentence.

And I definitely could not before I went.  So look at all I got for $65!

Y’all have a good week, and I will try to find a minute and be back with some actual stories about something or other.  Until then, if you’re a HHS class of ’88 alumni lurker … you need to HOLLA!  Let me know if I missed anything.  I really hope someone took pictures!


Did you think I forgot? July 8, 2008

Filed under: Children,Events,Friends,Fun!,Photos,Random,Uncategorized — Layni @ 9:33 am

[9:33 a.m.]

About you?  Well, I haven’t.  I’ve just been remarkably busy & unable to find the time to trot out any daily musings, helpful bits or humorous nuggets.  I’m sorry.  I feel so neglectful.  Please don’t forget about me.  You’re still my sunshine.

I can quickly tell you that I have a TON going on & I know I have stories to tell [do I ever NOT?]  So, oh, ok, I know what I can do.  I’ll pop on today & update when I have a spare minute or a story hits me that I need to tell y’all about!  This means you’ll have to scoll down each time you visit today to see if I’ve added anything new.  Oh, & if you think of something I need to share — comment & remind me.  I have only had one cup of coffee, after all.

Installment #2 [2:19 p.m.]

See.  I told you I’d come back!  Oh, my gosh you guys I am feeling completely overwhelmed! 

[Crap.  I’ll be back.]

Installment #3 [3:01 p.m.]

[… and also I forgot my glasses at home today so my vision isn’t so good right now.  In case you wondered why I’m squinting.]

Ok, talk fast, Layni.  Someone could walk up & need something at any moment.  At WORK no less.  The nerve of some people.  Ok.  So first of all I need to mention that my 20 year high school reunion is this Saturday.  20 years y’all!  When did that happen?  It still seems like just yesterday that I was cruising to school in my friend Jennifer’s Camero [which, if I’m not mistaken, was ‘totally bitchin’], pegging my pants at the bottom AND wearing them at boob-level [What?  That’s not slimming?], all the while marching proudly with the band.  That’s how I rolled. 

But, you know, it wasn’t all bad jeans and frump.  I mean, frump stayed, and then somewhere along the line I decided that it would be a good idea to wear my father’s clothes.  Specifically, the clothes that did not even begin to fit me, even in my imagination.  So I stole pretty much all of the poor man’s dress shirts, which I then wore buttoned alllll the way to my chin.  Of course, they were enormous on me, so the result was a visually unsettling triangle effect, and either the shirt ballooned around me, tentlike, or I tried to stuff eight yards of starched cotton down into my jeans, which made me look like I was pregnant in both the front and back of my body.  And I remember doing this intentionally, all the time, yet as far as I know, I have never suffered a head injury.  I wish I had a picture of this phenomenon.

Anyway, I’m going on Saturday to see all of my high school pals and reminisce about ‘that one time at band camp’ and whatnot.  I just hope noone remembers my Hammer Pants. 

Remember how I told you guys I would update all day?  Well, I maybe meant another day.  [Sigh]  Sadly, I need to do work now.  But next time [possibly this evening] I will fill y’all in on:

1.) The dangers of fireworks.

2.) How the term, “Lights.  Camera.  Ashton!” is seriously affecting my social life.


3.) Show you [with pictures!] how Northsiders do a parade.

Until then.  Don’t you be talking about my big 80’s hair.  I wasn’t alone in that.