Random Thoughts on Symmes

… inept, but trying real hard

Another fine weekend brought to you by the five one three April 30, 2007

Filed under: Events,Family,Friends,Fun!,Uncategorized — Layni @ 3:45 pm

Yesterday the fam & I did the March of Dimes Walk America.  The weather was perfect-o!  We’ve done the walk now for the past three years.  The first year was in memory of a friend’s son, James, who was born prematurely & didn’t stay long. 

We really enjoyed the first year, even though it snowed & was so cold that we were at risk of losing body parts to hypothermia.  Harold had to carry Maddie (who was only 3 at the time) for quite a bit of the way [and frankly, he probably benefited by huddling together for warmth!]  We didn’t know what to expect & were overwhelmed by the compassion & dedication of the 10’s of thousands that showed up (in said freezing cold)  to ‘walk for babies’ (as Maddie affectionately referred to it & we still do). 

Last year didn’t go quite as smoothly.  We got downtown, got ready to park & it was only then that I realized that Harold had I’d forgotten our wrist bands!  ” Wrist bands?”, you ask.  Yes, wrist bands.  Only the single most important thing you need to have for your walk!  Well, can you walk if you don’t have your wrist band?  Yes, you can.  Well, can you get your goodie bags & free food & drinks without your wrist band?  “No!”  So we had to make a decision that day.  Did we go ahead & walk (which, truthfully, walking or not, it doesn’t really make a difference — the MoD gets the donations you’ve collected in either case.) & forego the ‘perks’ or do we head back home to get the wrist bands to selfishly indulge ourselves with free products & Macaroni Grill pasta salad cups?  So we’re on our way back with our wrist bands …  [nuff said]

This year went off without any unsmooth moments.   We did register a little later than we usually do, so we didn’t have too much time to raise money – but we raised a modest amount for a family of 4 [thanks to all who donated!]   The walk was alot of fun.  We were on time, found parking with no problem, got there just as the walk began & the weather was beautiful [sunny, breezy & mid 70’s].  As usual we looked forward to the free goodie-bag cinch sacks & food at the finish line (though we do not, however, enjoy that these sacks are filled with full-sized bottles of product – nearly 7 of them – and that the bags are made of light-weight wind breaker material & the straps are made of thin vinyl cords that, when carrying 7 full-sized bottles of product, feel like little serated saws also covered in razor wire that seemingly threaten to cut your arm clean off at the shoulder) – but thanks for the free stuff guys!

Ok, so I’ve never told you about my friend Nick from work.  The first time I met Nick I was taken aback by how much he looked like Larry (my brother)!  Same round head, goatee, hairline, smile, eyes, build, etc.  Of course, neither he nor Larry were as enthused as I about the fact that their likeness to each other was so uncanny.  [Guy thing perhaps … “Show no emotion – grunt & beat chest”.]  Anyway, so we’re at the Walk yesterday & Maddie & Alexis were playing some games (we took Alexis, Maddie’s BFF, in Ashton’s place – Ashton was in KY), so anyway, I’m watching the girls & Harold says to me, “Big Larry looking guy … !”  So I turn around to check out this, “Big Larry looking guy” & lo & behold!  Out of 10’s of thousands of people at Sawyer Point I turn around & it’s NICK!!!  I couldn’t believe it!  All of this time I’ve been telling everyone how much I think they look alike & voila!  So Nick’s, obviously, a little amazed that Harold picked him out in a crowd as a Larry look-alike, but then Maddie turns around.  She walks up to him like she thinks she knows exactly who he is, then suddenly stops.  Dead in her little tracks. 

“Hey, Maddie, who does this guy look like?” 

Without hesitation, “Uncle Larry”. 

“That’s it”, Nick said, “I’m shaving the goatee.”

[I’m going to track down pictures of these two to post — maybe tonight — definitely soon]

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We are experiencing technical difficulty April 27, 2007

Filed under: Events,Family,Friends,Fun!,Uncategorized — Layni @ 3:32 pm

Hi y’all!

Due to the fact that our computer has gone on strike & is right at this very minute flipping me the ‘blue error screen’, it’s possible that I may be MIA for awhile [I’m doing this from work – shhhh!]. 

With any luck my bro-seph will be able to remedy the situation this weekend.  In the meantime – please enjoy the beautiful sunny weekend and this sign I spotted online.

slow.jpg 

Tastier than caged children.

 

The Girl With Two Brains April 19, 2007

Filed under: Events,Family,Friends,Fun!,Uncategorized — Layni @ 2:36 pm

I’ve been struggling with how to lead into a blog after such a long, unplanned & unannounced hiatus & have finally found inspiration & molded it to suit my purpose.  It’s a wonder I ever get anything done.     

Left Brain of Layni: Holy cow, I can’t believe how long it’s been since I updated my site. I haven’t even written anything in there since, like…holy COW, MARCH! I must do that! I must write something NOW, NOW, NOW.

Right Brain of Layni: Oh, pipe down, Misses practical. You know you can’t force the creative process. Just calm down and soon, inspiration will come. She will give us our subject, and then she will take us by the hand, and lead us down a path lined with butterflies and ice cream cones.

Left Brain: … Ooookay. Except we don’t have hands.

Right Brain: I am speaking figuratively, Left Brain. You need to think outside of the box.

Left Brain: Or, you know, I could ignore your irritating box-talk, and just write something already. Which is what I am going to do. I am putting it on my to-do list right now. Right under “Finish laundry,” but before “Steam clean the rugs, so they smell less like gamey dogs & earwax.”

Right Brain: But if you just write any old thing, then it will not be creative. We should not write now. I think we should sing a song, and then make potholders on weaving looms.

Left brain: Oh, for the love of GOD, woman, this is a blog. After all this time, it doesn’t need to be creative; it just needs to be “not blank.” That is really the only requirement for today: “Not blank.”

Right Brain: You know, when you say things like that, a fairy dies. She just falls down dead.

Left Brain: No fairies die…

Right Brain: FALLS DOWN DEAD SPLAT. Like that. Because of you.

Left Brain: [Sigh]. Oh, also, we should get some lunch. I have a can of soup & some crackers in my desk …

Right Brain: GRILLED SANDWICH!

Left Brain: And, the cafeteria downstairs has got some spec—

Right Brain: GRILLED SANDWICH!  GRILLED SANDWICH!

Left Brain: FINE. We will spend money unnecessarily in the cafeteria and have A GRILLED SANDWICH for lunch.

Right Brain: (and potato chips.)

Left Brain: AND POTATO CHIPS. OKAY. THEN WE WORK.

Right Brain: Noooo, then we daydream.

Left Brain: We don’t have time to daydream. We have to write! Write write write.

Right Brain: Do you think it’s going to be sunny Saturday?

Left Brain: I don’t know. And we have to write now. We should write about…

Right Brain: Reality TV, probably. And John Mayer.

Left Brain: NO. No, let’s write about how much work we’ve been doing since—

Right Brain: Oh, snore. We are not going to complain about our workload. That is so, so boring, plus you do that all the time.

Left Brain: Well, all you’ve come up with is “Reality TV” and “John Mayer” & grilled sandwiches and potato chips for lunch.

Right Brain: And earwax.

Left Brain: Yes. Exactly. Let us not forget earwax. You are making my point for me, and I thank you.

Right Brain: Hey, Stiffy! Know what I really like? That song from the new GE commercials.

Left Brain: No, you don’t.

Right Brain: Oh, indeed I DO. And I shall start singing it right now, until you agree not to write about how busy you are.

Left Brain: Oh, please…please, don’t do that.

Right Brain: “Look at this man … so blessed with inspiration …”

Left Brain: Oh, come on.

Right Brain: “Look at this soul … still searching for salvation …”

Left Brain:  Will you PLEASE SHUT UP.

Right Brain: (humming).

Left Brain: Sweet, great. Awesome, now I’m singing it. WE HAVE THINGS TO DO.

Right Brain: No, you have things to do. I am going to come up with new names for cereals.

Left Brain: Fantastic. Do it quietly.

Right Brain: … Fruity Poofs

Left Brain: ….?

Right Brain: Frosted Flaxseed Crunch…Graham-choco-raisin Rings.

Left Brain: Please. Oh, please, I beg you. I have so much to do…

Right Brain: Wholewheatadoodles.

Left Brain: Right. Great, that’s it. I am getting nothing done, plus I have gotten nothing done all day, and I am a person with deadlines and lists…

Right Brain: Let’s write poetry about how boring you are.

Left Brain: Are you even LISTENING to me? LET’S WRITE IN OUR BLOG.

Right Brain: Ooo! Let’s write a poem about how you live at the bottom of the ocean, but are still totally boring.

Left Brain: I’m not boring, I’m responsible! Someone has to be responsible!

Right Brain: Snooooore. Oh, hey! Look at that: you talk, and I immediately fall asleep. That’s amazing how that happens, considering that you are so fascinating and all.

Left Brain: I wonder if it is possible to plan a stroke. To plan a stroke that only affects the RIGHT SIDE OF ONE’S BRAIN.

Right Brain: Oh, let’s not fight. Let’s cuddle.

Left Brain: I don’t WANT to cuddle. I WANT to write in our blog, and then I WANT to lay out the girls lunch money, and then I WANT to do laundry.

Right Brain: Or we could squeeze the dogs cheeks.

Left Brain: …well, they do need some squeezing.

Right Brain: And they are just sitting here, all snuggly looking, “Who’s a big sweetie?!”

Left Brain: They are snuggly. It is scientifically proven that they are snuggly. Okay, maybe a small break, for squeezing the snuggly.

Right Brain: That’s right, just…ew. Oh, ew. Dude, what’s that smell?

Left Brain: Oh, Max has an ear infection … yeast I believe …

Right Brain: Well, why didn’t you give him a bath, or something?

Left Brain: Why didn’t…? LOOK. LOOK AT THIS LIST. Right there, under “Laundry”, it also says, “Bathe Max with something to make him smell less like earwax & yeast infection medicine.”

Right Brain: Well, you should really get to that, you know?

Left Brain: I HATE YOU.

Right Brain: Do not. I sparkle!

Left Brain: (sob.)

Right Brain: Oh, come on, now! Come on, what do you want to do? Do you want to write that blog? Will that make you happy?

Left Brain: No.

Right Brain: Do you want to do a scrapbook page?

Left Brain: NO.

Right Brain: Okay, okay. Do you want to play Mahjong?

Left Brain: I…sort of.

Right Brain: Well, okay! THERE WE GO, LITTLE CAMPER. You go play some Mahjong, with all that logical, deductive reasoning of yours.

Left Brain: (sniff). Okay. What are you going to do?

Right Brain: I’m going to watch America’s Next Top Model.

Left Brain: Is that all?

Right Brain: Well, I’ll also update the blog. Okay?

Left Brain: But … you? Nobody will ever come back! If you write it, they’ll see the innermost workings of Layni’s brain, and they’ll all run away, screaming.

Right Brain: Oh, shush. It’s better than blank, right?

Left Brain: I mean…yeah. Okay, you’re right. Just…

Right Brain: Yes?

Left Brain: Promise not to mention the earwax thing.