Last week there was a break-in in a neighborhood pretty close to my Mom’s. I thought she might be a little freaked out about it so I brought it up to her during our weekly Sunday after-church visit. Now, understand, my mother generally contradicts anything that I say and typically always defends ‘the other guy’ (the other guy being the opposite ‘guy’ of whoever I’m defending). With that said,
“So Mom, did you hear about the break-in over on Bishop?” [which, I knew she likely had, since she takes watching the news and court TV very seriously]
“Yeah, What about that?”
“I was just thinking it was kind of close & random, I thought you might be worried.”
“Well, they said the intruder broke in with a hammer or something, right?”
[Harold reads from the paper, “It says he hit the homeowner with a sledgehammer AND a picture frame (because a sledgehammer evidentally isn’t quite forceful enough – logically a picture frame would work better). Harold continues, “It says the homeowner shot the burglar 5 times, once in the head, three times in the torso & once in the flank. Brandenburg (the bad guy) was intoxicated, has a lengthy criminal record that includes arrests for ethnic intimidation, aggravated menacing, drug abuse, forgery, fleeing and eluding and assult & had recently been released from prison.” Nice guy.]
“Well, don’t you think that was a bit excessive? I mean, the first two shots should have done the trick.”
Heavenly God! I would like to hope that she was just trying to be the bigger person, following God’s commandment that, “thou shall not kill” & that surely she wasn’t insinuating that this poor man should have had cognitive reasoning capabilities during this.
To me, the concept of this poor unassuming homeowner being judged for the force with which he defended his family & property was staggering.
Imagining the scenario:
“Hey, very bad man who wishes to do me bodily harm & steal all of my belongings, stop there I say!” [Man takes one to the skull with a sledgehammer] “Sir, if you would kindly refrain from trying to kill me, I would be most appreciative – further, I will not then be forced to retreat to my boudoir to retrieve my shooting iron, possibly resulting in bodily injury to either you or myself. [Picture frame smashes over his head] “You sir, have forced my hand!” [Bang! Bang!] “There, two should be sufficient. I have just injured you enough that you cannot crawl after me, yet ambulatory care might save your life so that you can stand trial and be judged by a jury of your peers for your crime. Let it not be said, however, that you were not amply warned.”
Are you kidding me?!
You know, I always try to be the bigger person too (in most instances). And I’m on-board with the fact that this man was (at one time – possibly as a child) a human being – but by invading this man’s home & threatening his life & livelihood, he’s now officially a former-human being who deserves to have his balls folded in half with a hair barrett until they rot & fall off, someone who then deserves to have said rotted balls shoved into a blender & pulverized into a fine powder that can be mixed with arsenic & then served to him on a cookie. That’s not so bad, right? I’m offering him a cookie, aren’t I?
This is me being a bigger person.
Random Thoughts on Symmes 