Random Thoughts on Symmes

… inept, but trying real hard

Look on the bright side; at least I can still look on the bright side February 27, 2007

Filed under: Events,Family,Fun!,Uncategorized — Layni @ 12:11 am

It’s almost done. A lot of my bathroom stuff is in the spare bedroom, but I’ve arranged it all into neat piles so that it no longer looks as if it is going to leap off the floor & spare bed and give you a good ‘ol dirty beatin’.  I started last Saturday, late afternoon & worked late into the night, beginning with the ceiling & wallpapering my way down.  Then starting again on Thursday (I took myself a ‘mental health day’) I spent the whole day, from about 10:00 a.m. to well into the night, on my hands & knees laying flooring.

I am exhausted and sore in strange parts of my body (ex. I was just awakened by the phone ringing; I was curled up in the desk chair at the computer.  It was 9:15 p.m.) 

I also managed to sustain a ridiculous freak injury during my remodel.  I was hanging the wallpaper on Saturday & using a quite sizable utility knife [box cutter] to cut the wallpaper.  I left it on top of the ladder (well yes, of course opened).  Later, when I moved the ladder to a new location, the knife flew off of the top & nailed me in the outside corner (that bone right below) my right eye.  A knot popped up in my peripheral that had me convinced that I was being stalked.  Of course, I had to pick Ashton up from youth group sporting the hematoma & she takes one look at me & her mouth flies open as she climbs into the car.  “Mommy!  Oh, my gosh!”  Looking to the right at her as she gets in, from across the lump in my peripheral that seriously looked like a person, “Well aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?”  That joke didn’t pertain for long.

The following morning, I awoke with a true shiner.  Black from the inside corner of my eye to my cheekbone.  Cool!  I have a black eye!  I’ve never had a black eye before.  I’m actually feeling pretty hard core.  Oh, the stories I can tell!  “You should see the other girl”.  “… but he said he was sorry”.  “I had a nose job, how’s it look?”  This would be fun!

By Monday the novelty had worn off & I realized just how not fun a black eye was.  Seriously, if one more person looks at me with pity (or at times contempt, “Why do they stay?”) I’m going to go Matrix on them!  When you see a woman with a cast on her foot do you assume that their spouse has masochistically stepped on their toes with a steel-toed boot just to hear their toes snap?  If they have a neck brace on, do you automatically presume that she has shaken-wife syndrome?  Then why, for the love of reality t.v. would you assume that because a person has a black eye that they’re candidates for the Burning Bed!?  Ugh. 

In actuality, my husband likely saved my eyesight.  He had walked past the ladder prior to the incident & noticed that I had left it open!  Thinking to himself, “Whoa, no good can come of this!” he closed it.  In reality, I’ll probably never live down how he saved my optic nerve.  Aren’t I the lucky one?

Look people, if Harold was inclined to inflict pain on me, it certainly would have been tonight during my hormonal, “you eat too much bread,” rant. 

 

Please make a note of it … February 21, 2007

Filed under: Events,Family,Friends,Fun!,Uncategorized — Layni @ 1:51 pm

I’ve just decided that I collect vintage doll quilts.  Yup.  That’s right, just this minute now when I saw this beautiful wall (newly made of vintage fabric could work too)   

 

I may have mentioned this

Filed under: Uncategorized — Layni @ 12:55 am

Recently I ‘ve received several concerned emails from people wanting to know why I don’t update my blog more often.  I think I’ve covered this a few times, but I am very busy being lazy, and generally if you want to know what’s going on with me, I’ll get around to telling you once I have recovered from all the blinking I’ve been doing.

OH, MY GOSH, I’M FLIPPIN’ BUSY!!!

I’m a full-time working mother of 2 girls.  I’m hosting a benefit crop for an ever-so-deserving family on March 3rd.  I’m planning an after-hours event at the Newport Aquarium for roughly 60 people March 1st.  I’m hosting a Premier Designs jewelry party for my dear friend Kendra this Friday & my husband thought that this past weekend would be a fantastic time to ‘spruce up’ our bathroom [read: my bathroom currently resembles Roman ruins]. 

Oh, for heaven’s sake!  What am I doing on the computer?  Check back tomorrow … good night.

 

Further argument for working outside the home February 15, 2007

Filed under: Events,Family,Friends,Fun!,Uncategorized — Layni @ 1:03 am
Things to do at home when you are bored

bored.jpg

 

Thanks Hallmark February 14, 2007

Filed under: Events,Family,Friends,Fun!,Uncategorized — Layni @ 9:12 am

Today marks the age-old tradition of Valentine’s Day, popularized in the Middle Ages and capitalized on by Hallmark in the 80s, 90s, and today. With a little Wikipedia research, you will discover that the first North American Valentine was printed by a woman from Worcester, Massachusetts. Incidentally, the same town is also famous for its invention of the birth control pill. Big ups to all my peeps in Worcester for covering their bases.
 
I wanted to share with you an excerpt from one of my favorite comedians,
Mike Birbiglia, and his thoughts on Valentines Day.  Oh, & if you have a minute, I’d highly recommend listening to the sampling of his stand-up that plays on his home page.  Very funny guy.  
 

 Anyway, Mike writes:

“It’s a nice holiday for me this year because I’m in love and it’s reciprocated. For much of my life, it wasn’t. I’d be like, “I love you,” and the girl would be like, “Whoa!” When I was in high school, I fell for this girl so I was blind to the fact that we had nothing in common.  I was a virgin and she was a whore. And I would go to any length of compromise so she wouldn’t break up with me.  At one point, she told me that she had another boyfriend who lived in another town. I was fine with it. I was like as long as I’m the #1 backup!

So 3 months in, she invites me to meet her parents. So I show up and at the house are my girlfriend, her parents, and her other boyfriend. It was like one of those moments in your life where in retrospect you’re like, “What the hell?” but at the time you’re like, “I guess I’ll continue living.” It’s like if you went to the dentist and he asked you to take your pants off and you’re like, “He’s got a degree, but I’m gonna make a note of this because it seems crazy.”

Eventually, I fell in love with someone and it was reciprocated, which is the greatest feeling you can possibly imagine. It’s like eating pizza…ice cream. Your brain can’t even process how good it is. And love makes people do crazy things like kill people or shop at Crate & Barrel. And it makes us all a little delusional. I think deep down we think we have a secret special skill that no one knows about and if they knew they’d be amazed because our secret special skill is amazing. And then eventually we meet someone who says, “You have a secret special skill.” And you’re like “I know!”  She’s like, “So do you!” and you’re like, “I know.” And then you’re like, “we should eat pizza-ice cream together.” And that’s what love is, it’s a mountain of Ben & Jerry’s and delusion.   So I’ve been thinking about all this and how if love is a delusion, then why do we bother? And I’m not sure, but I think it’s that once you find someone who sees your secret special skill and that person doesn’t have another boyfriend, you keep her. And then you send her a valentine. And you hope she’s on the pill. And that concludes this week’s entry in my secret public journal.”

I’m going to go bake something for my family now – so they know I love them (Martha says that’s how they’ll know).

 

Reasons it’s good that I work outside the home February 13, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Layni @ 8:40 pm

Too many plush horizontal surfaces.

4 cups of coffee today [within the past two hours].

Ellen.

The nap after Ellen.

Horizontal surfaces.

Naked blogging.

Shower? Why?

Have you seen my couch and it’s lovely horizontal surface?

That box of cheese crackers is gone?  I just opened that.

Oprah.

The nap after Oprah.

Too convenient to go directly from the computer to the guest bed.

Still wearing my pajamas at dinner.

The after dinner nap to recover from all the naps & blinking I’d done all day.

 

 

Did your mother not love you enough?

Filed under: Events,Family,Uncategorized — Layni @ 1:37 am

[Let me just preface this with breaking news regarding the , ‘Winter Storm Warning’ they’ve been talking about ALL DAY!  Just now, the weatherman, in an attempt to drive home the seriousness of the white death that threatens to bury us all overnight, reported that, in addition to the 2 to 4″ of snow & ice that we can also expect a dramatic drop in the temperature, “…at the top of the hour we were at 32 degrees and we’re NOW at 31 [it’s 11:26] !!!”  I AM NOT EVEN MAKING THIS UP!  Dear God, Al Gore IS right!]

The other week when we had snow, Harold & Maddie spent the afternoon building a snowman complete with snow dog on a leash.   The snow a couple of days ago wasn’t a good packing snow.  It was powdery.  With the little bit warmer weather today, it was ready this afternoon, so Harold & the girls headed out to build again.  This time they spent two hours painstakingly constructing a formidable 8′ tall snowman (picture Shaquille O’Neil in snow) sporting an orange Abercrombie & Fitch ball cap (Hey!  That’s my ball cap!) … and does that snowman have 8 arms?

As soon as I pulled in this evening Harold came out to make sure I saw their wonderous creation.  He was they were so proud!  I gave them props for their architectural skills.  It was truly a work of art worthy of local hometown newpaper fame.

After the girls went to bed I let the dogs out.  When I called for them, Kalabou didn’t come right away so I walked to the edge of the porch to see where she was.  Looking across the yard I immediately noticed that the 8′ obstruction was no longer there.  [blink…blink…blink] Is it?  No.  It isn’t.  What the …?  Where the …?  That’s when I noticed the distinct lines of tread marks coming from the street, heading directly towards their snowman!  Surely that’s not what I was seeing.  Certainly the creature had simply toppled over under it’s own weight.  I went into the house & up to Ashton’s room to get a birds eye view.  It was indeed gone (well, most of it anyway).  Someone had actually driven into my yard, intent on killing our snowman, succeeded then backed out & went on with their miserable life. 

I shouldn’t have to explain to my 6 year old that there are people in this world, in her world, that are so spiteful that they could mow down a snowman, without giving a thought to the the feelings of a smallish girl that worked so hard to construct it with her Daddy.  I WON’T explain it.  I will not express to her how I’d love to know who had violated her in this way so that I could pinch them so hard that they beg for forgiveness for being so heartless.  I’m going to let the newly fallen snow fill in the reminder of their violation of her childhood & silently harbor ill-will towards the perpetrators.  Then I’m going to try really hard to say a prayer for them tonight.  I’m going to try really hard to mean it. 

We’ll build another snowman.  Possibly today, weather permitting.  But this time we’re going to roll a boulder into each section (& when Maddie’s not looking, I may construct a snow hand – flipping the snow ‘bird’).